Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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