goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
