so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
