there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
