i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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