they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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