HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He better not be in your backpack
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
