i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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