Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
