Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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