Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
