I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
worst night to have a conscience
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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