but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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