Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize