I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
