that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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