Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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