fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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