OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My vagina is very pro this idea
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
