we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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