she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
