Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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