Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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