no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
