Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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