We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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