Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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