forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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