I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
