One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
