did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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