i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
