I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
