He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
