Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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