I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
