so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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