"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
