I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize