I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
