I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
