wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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