She is in my trunk
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
