A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
