This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
