dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
