This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
