You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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