State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am midnight drunk by noon
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
