hotel room ftw
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize