I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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