It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
