You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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