Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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