Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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