just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
