yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
