I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
